I haven’t been the best version of myself lately.
This is not hard to admit, but, in fact, it is all too easy.
I am not trying to excuse my lack of interest in work and other things. Instead, wanting to clarify the existence of depression and anxiety in my life.
I have been at the same job for almost four years. Stagnancy has recently consumed my mind. Though I do have good days, and I know I should be grateful for having a job, especially while being full-time at school.
In the past my depression was brought on by the breaking of friendships. Two very important people were always there in high school. One I disbanded from, the other disbanded from me. One I spent every day with, the other I could confide in emotionally.
It all happened before the so-called best moments of my teenage life. Before prom, before graduation.
Then, my anxiety stemmed from fear of leaving home. Now, it is that I am afraid that I am not moving anywhere at all. Same job. Same house.
How does someone find out who they want to be, when we are too focused on becoming who we think we should be?